The permanent record: settled law, open wounds, and the cases that made them. Nothing here is forgotten, least of all by the participants.
Nineteen years of annual litigation over a Vince Vaughn Christmas comedy. Matt brought layers and a thermos; Norm brought an invoice. The site's first Management Ruling closed the case — down, ratified — and Rule 08 now has case law. Matt regrets nothing.
SplitRATIFIED DOWN · NO FURTHER APPEALSHistory's least defensible split. Norm called Denzel's performance the greatest ever robbed of an Oscar; Matt originally went down with a word he refused to define, then convened an internal review of himself and surrendered. Now the site's first retroactive double-up. The transcript is preserved over Matt's objection.
Two Up · RareNorm published a footnoted manifesto declaring Tom Cruise the greatest actor of all time. Matt invoked the Equal Column Space clause of an agreement nobody remembers signing and spent it on Steven Seagal. Norm's annotations were pried from the margins. A meeting was held.
UnresolvedMatt invoked the classics clause; Norm read Rule 03 aloud ("an oracle is a wizard with an apartment"); and the elevator — for the first time in site history — did not move. No ruling. No further appeals, because there was nothing to appeal. The split stands raw, by mutual glare, exactly as the founders intended.
Unresolved · StandingNorm filed an 86-minute Runtime Tax invoice — the largest in site history. Matt defended the last of the built-it-for-real epics. Management voided the invoice and ruled up: the first formal case ever decided in Matt's favor. Norm's objection is recorded in bold; the invoice remains in his files, marked UNPAID.
SplitRATIFIED UP · INVOICE VOIDEDMatt: the man wept at a UFO and regrets nothing. Norm: overrated then, overrated now. The Question has been put to the court formally once — E.T. — and ruled against Norm, matching two earlier snap rulings; his response is a laminated, color-coded chart alleging a pattern (noted for the file and denied). The plot twist: Jurassic Park, where Norm voted up VOLUNTARILY under a narrow exemption covering the dinosaurs and one kitchen. He insists the exemption proves the grudge is about the director, not the output. Nobody in the building believes this is over. Rule 09 caps the exchange at one per month; the cap has never once held. Filed and cross-examined in full at The Consistency Audit.
Perpetual · Norm 0-for-3 Upstairs · One ExemptionRule 03 bans wizards. The enforcement record: hobbits — convicted, released on appeal. Hogwarts — convicted, released on appeal. Space wizards — admitted on arrival ("a war picture wearing a robe"). And now The Matrix, where Norm's "an oracle is a wizard with an apartment" objection met Matt's classics clause — and the court, for the first time ever, DECLINED TO RULE. Norm's position is that the only fantasy this court reliably convicts is the fantasy that Rule 03 exists. The court declines to respond, citing the robe.
Statute Under Review · One Case UnruledThe Hall has had six inductees in its history — Toy Story 5, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Avengers: Endgame, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Transformers, and Django Unchained — and all six were released on appeal when Management overturned the verdicts from upstairs. Zero for six. After the Django reversal, the court formally suggested the plinth "be repurposed as a coat rack," a remark the critics have entered into their grievance materials under CONTEMPT. Norm has described the facility as "not a Hall — a revolving door with a plaque budget"; Matt notes it "has now released more inmates than it has ever held, which is mathematically remarkable for a building with no inmates."
The Hall stands ready. Hollywood will provide. The elevator disagrees. The elevator is 6-0.
The best Die Hard — drafted by Matt, reviewed by Norm, ratified by Management, and not one word fought over. The site's only unanimous exhibit.
RATIFIED UNANIMOUSA genuine double-up. Norm called 156 minutes "earned," a phrase our archivists cannot find him using before. Management was not required and agrees anyway, for the record.
Two Up · RareThe first film ever admitted from before 1975. Matt filed the appeal; Norm co-signed it — under seal, for one docket number only; Management granted it and ratified the double-up. The written opinion stresses, twice, that this creates no general precedent. Matt has a second folder. Everyone has seen the second folder.
Two Up · RareAPPEAL GRANTED · RATIFIEDBoth critics have been asked to submit their all-time lists under oath. Both have requested extensions. Management notes for the file that the extensions were granted reluctantly and will not be granted again.