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SP 0:00:13
Movie criticism, with prejudice

Two critics.
Two thumbs.
Pointed at the floor.

Matt and Norm watch everything so you can watch almost nothing. The dreaded double-down is earned, never given.

Latest Reviews Enter the Vault
This week's verdicts † Malcolm X — split decision † Chrome Dynasty — two thumbs down † Heat of the Moment — split decision † The Last Reel — two thumbs up (it happens) † New in the Vault: Matt's Rebuttal: Steven Seagal Is the Most Underrated Actor Alive † This week's verdicts † Malcolm X — split decision † Chrome Dynasty — two thumbs down † Heat of the Moment — split decision † The Last Reel — two thumbs up (it happens) † New in the Vault: Matt's Rebuttal: Steven Seagal Is the Most Underrated Actor Alive †

Snap Judgments

Now playing · sixty seconds of thought apiece

The Odyssey

Dir. Christopher Nolan · Epic · July 2026
MattHomer finally got the budget he deserved. The classics always win.
NormThere's a cyclops in it. That's fantasy. I don't do fantasy.
Split Decision

Disclosure Day

Dir. Steven Spielberg · Sci-Fi Thriller · June 2026
MattBest Spielberg in twenty years. I wept at a UFO. No regrets.
NormIt's E.T. with paperwork. Overrated then, overrated now.
Split Decision

Project Hail Mary

Ryan Gosling · Sci-Fi · March 2026
MattGosling saves Earth with math and a spreadsheet. Sold.
NormSmart sci-fi, zero capes. More of this, Hollywood.
Two Up · Rare

Spider-Man: Brand New Day

Tom Holland · Action · July 2026
MattPerfectly fine. Exhaustingly fine. Call me when it's Raiders.
NormSolid action flick. I'll allow it.
Split Decision

Backrooms

A24 · Horror · May 2026
MattI don't do horror. Neither should you.
NormHated it. It's a hallway.
Two Thumbs Down

Toy Story 5

Pixar · Animation · June 2026
MattI cried again — but this time for the franchise. Let them rest, Pixar.
NormA toy taught me about mortality. I just wanted popcorn.
Two Thumbs Down
▶ Norm's Movie of the Month · August 2026
NormOne thumb. Way up.

Rain Man (1988)

A drama. No cyclops. He checked.

Four directors, a writers' strike, a 1949 Buick — and Norm's case that Rain Man is the best acting Tom Cruise has ever done, in the best movie Spielberg never made. Matt gets no rebuttal until September.

Read Norm's Full Breakdown →
SP 2:13:00 Rain Man1988 · dir. Levinson † NORM'S PICK †

Fresh Verdicts

All reviews →
SP 3:21:14 Malcolm X
Biography · Throwback · 1992

Malcolm X

Norm calls it the greatest performance ever robbed of an Oscar. Matt deploys a word he refuses to define. The Crossfire is a massacre.

Matt Norm Split Decision

The Vault

All retrospectives →
Making Of · 1988

Die Hard Was a Sequel Nobody Wanted

From a contractual obligation to Frank Sinatra to the perfect action film — the unlikely paper trail behind Nakatomi Plaza.

The Shark Wasn't Working: How Jaws Nearly Sank

Vault · 6 min read

Norm's Manifesto: Tom Cruise Is the Greatest Actor of All Time

Vault · 8 min read

Matt's Rebuttal: Steven Seagal Is the Most Underrated Actor Alive

Vault · 6 min read

The Critics

Matt

The Optimist (Relatively)

Believes every movie deserves a fair shot, then spends 900 words explaining why this one blew it. Weakness: heist films, practical effects, and any scene where someone walks away from an explosion.

Norm

The Executioner

Has walked out of three movies in his life and written 4,000 words about each. Believes runtime is a promise, third acts are a dying art, and that his thumb rests down by default. Convince him.