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Movie criticism, with prejudice

Two critics.
Two thumbs.
Pointed at the floor.

Matt and Norm watch everything so you can watch almost nothing. The dreaded double-down is earned, never given.

This week's verdicts † Kill Bill: Vol. 1 — split decision † Django Unchained — two thumbs down † Once Upon a Time in Hollywood — two thumbs up (it happens) † Inglourious Basterds — two thumbs up (it happens) † Pulp Fiction — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Matrix — split decision † Get Out — split decision † Home Alone — split decision † Interstellar — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Departed — two thumbs up (it happens) † Gladiator — two thumbs up (it happens) † John Wick — split decision † Jurassic Park — two thumbs up (it happens) † E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial — split decision † Star Wars — split decision † Transformers — two thumbs down † The Big Lebowski — two thumbs up (it happens) † Titanic — split decision † Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone — two thumbs down † Avengers: Endgame — two thumbs down † Top Gun: Maverick — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Godfather — two thumbs up (it happens) † Oppenheimer — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Fugitive — two thumbs up (it happens) † Heat — two thumbs up (it happens) † Fred Claus — split decision † Project Hail Mary — two thumbs up (it happens) † Malcolm X — two thumbs up (it happens) † New in the Vault: Norm's Advance Filing: Digger, or The Movie the Academy Owes Me † This week's verdicts † Kill Bill: Vol. 1 — split decision † Django Unchained — two thumbs down † Once Upon a Time in Hollywood — two thumbs up (it happens) † Inglourious Basterds — two thumbs up (it happens) † Pulp Fiction — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Matrix — split decision † Get Out — split decision † Home Alone — split decision † Interstellar — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Departed — two thumbs up (it happens) † Gladiator — two thumbs up (it happens) † John Wick — split decision † Jurassic Park — two thumbs up (it happens) † E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial — split decision † Star Wars — split decision † Transformers — two thumbs down † The Big Lebowski — two thumbs up (it happens) † Titanic — split decision † Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone — two thumbs down † Avengers: Endgame — two thumbs down † Top Gun: Maverick — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Godfather — two thumbs up (it happens) † Oppenheimer — two thumbs up (it happens) † The Fugitive — two thumbs up (it happens) † Heat — two thumbs up (it happens) † Fred Claus — split decision † Project Hail Mary — two thumbs up (it happens) † Malcolm X — two thumbs up (it happens) † New in the Vault: Norm's Advance Filing: Digger, or The Movie the Academy Owes Me †

The Latest Fight

One movie · two verdicts · no survivors
Throwback · 2003

Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Dir. Quentin Tarantino · 1h 51m · Action
Matt
“It's an exclamation point in search of a sentence — magnificent style delivering half a story, sold at full price. I rate construction. The construction arrives next volume.”
VS
Norm
“A revenge thriller with a LITERAL LIST. Names, crossed off, in order, with a sword. This is my lane at its most organized and I will hear no objection from the man who owns Fred Claus on three formats.”
Split Decision RULED: RATIFIED THUMB DOWN · E MONEY Read the Full Autopsy →

The Odyssey

Dir. Christopher Nolan · Epic · July 2026
MattHomer finally got the budget he deserved. The classics always win.
NormThere's a cyclops in it. That's fantasy. I don't do fantasy.
Split Decision
E Money · Ratified A monster, a mystery, and a man trying to get home — that's a thriller with a boat. The cyclops objection is overruled: it came out after Jaws. Ratified.

Disclosure Day

Dir. Steven Spielberg · Sci-Fi Thriller · June 2026
MattBest Spielberg in twenty years. I wept at a UFO. No regrets.
NormIt's E.T. with paperwork. Overrated then, overrated now.
Split Decision
E Money · Ratified A mystery about paperwork ending the world — dry, dark, airtight. Norm's Spielberg grudge is noted for the file and denied. Ratified.

Project Hail Mary

Ryan Gosling · Sci-Fi · March 2026
MattGosling saves Earth with math and a spreadsheet. Sold.
NormSmart sci-fi, zero capes. More of this, Hollywood.
Two Up · RareDOUBLE-UP DETECTED · NOT A DRILL

Toy Story 5

Pixar · Animation · June 2026
MattI cried again — but this time for the franchise. Let them rest, Pixar.
NormA toy taught me about mortality. I just wanted popcorn.
Two Thumbs Down
E Money · Overturned Overturned. It's a dark comedy about mortality performed by toys — which is precisely my department. You both cried, then docked it for making you feel something. The thumb goes up.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Dir. Peter Jackson · Fantasy · 2001–2003 · Throwback
MattNine hours of walking to return jewelry. It's fantasy. You know our policy.
NormA bit entertaining, for kids, small hobbits freak me out. 6/10
Two Thumbs DownNORM FANTASY PENALTY · −2
E Money · Overturned Overturned, emphatically. Nine hours of walking to return jewelry is called an EPIC, gentlemen — the jewelry was cursed and the walk saved the world. The hobbits stay. The 6/10 is stricken from the record as both illegal and low. Best trilogy ever put to film; this ruling is retroactive to 2001.
▶ Norm's Movie of the Month · August 2026
NormOne thumb. Way up.

Rain Man (1988)

A drama. No cyclops. He checked.

Four directors, a writers' strike, a 1949 Buick — and Norm's case that Rain Man is the best acting Tom Cruise has ever done, in the best movie Spielberg never made. Matt gets no rebuttal until September.

Read Norm's Full Breakdown →
SP 2:13:00 Rain Man1988 · dir. Levinson † NORM'S PICK †

Fresh Verdicts

All reviews →
SP 1:50:37 Kill Bill: Vol. 1
Action · Throwback · 2003

Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Norm's home lane — revenge — meets a film that is all collection and no case. For only the second time in court history, the ruling came down THUMB DOWN. Norm has declared the office compromised. Matt won a case while voting down, which nobody knew was possible.

Matt Norm Split Decision
SP 2:44:22 Django Unchained
Western · Throwback · 2012

Django Unchained

For the first time since Transformers, the critics buried a film together — 165 minutes, invoiced, plinth dusted. And for the sixth consecutive time in site history, the elevator moved. The Hall of Shame's retention rate remains a perfect zero.

Matt Norm Two Thumbs Down
28Films Judged
21Matt Thumbs Up
18Norm Thumbs Up
9Split Decisions
4Double-Downs
15Double-Ups (Miracles)
▶ New here? Meet the problem.

Matt

The Optimist (Relatively)

Believes every movie deserves a chance. Unfortunately, he has opinions.

Weakness for heist films, practical effects, Harrison Ford, and any scene where someone walks away from an explosion. Spends 900 words performing the autopsy on films that let him down.

Norm

The Executioner

Assumes the movie is guilty. The movie may appeal.

Believes runtime is a promise, third acts are a dying art, and that his thumb rests down by default. Convince him.